It also sounds to me like you definitely should not be hurting yourself.
The upgraded, cut-pile carpet looks like it has never had a pair of feet on it….
He doesn't need to know how you are doing and vice versa.
Just accept that he finds something about you interesting enough to be watching you right now.
But maybe your question is slightly different.
Would you consider it a dead-end relationship if the he is serious and committed, but just doesn't want to get married because "a piece of paper won't change anything"?
Previous Survey Results:
One more thing.
If he doesn't want to marry you, don't worry about what you should do.
The age is younger than your suggestion.